Telemarketers Suck Donkey Balls

I hate our landline. I would get rid of it if it weren’t for Brinks requiring it for our alarm system. Whenever the phone rings, I scream profanities, because I know it is nobody I want to talk to. Because of my husband’s job though, we have to leave the volume on in case anyone needs him 24/7. GAG.

Now I rarely answer the damn thing, but this particular number (cough) 707-200-7673 (cough) has been bugging the hell out of me. They call every.single.fucking.day. I was feeling especially saucy the other day and decided to answer the phone when I saw their number on the caller ID. What the hell was I thinking? I know what I was thinking (and this is why I try not to think anymore than absolutely necessary). I thought that I would just tell the fella’ to put me on his “Do Not Call” list.

Every single time that I have asked to be put on this list in the past, they immediately stop talking and say, “okay ma’am”. {don’t call me “ma’am” bitch}. They can actually call me whatever they want as long as they do it all the way to putting me on that list as quick as humanly possible.

Where was I. Oh yeah. The idiot who called me.

telemarketer,solar company,harrassment,do-not-call-list

Him: {after determining that I lived here}, “Let me start off by saying that I am not selling anything”.
Me: Uh huh.
Him: Do you know how much your energy costs? There is a way to lower your ene…
Me: Please put me on your do-not-call list
Him: blah blah blah blah
Me: Put me on your do-not-call-list
Him: You are TALKING OVER ME AND NOT LISTENING!
Me: You are TALKING OVER ME – PUT ME ON YOUR DO-NOT-CALL-LIST
Him: Still blathering on and on

At this point we were just yelling at each other. I was getting pissed because they aren’t supposed to continue after you request this. But he did. Oh how he did.

Me: Put me on your damned do-not-call list, pretty please, with fucking sugar on top.
Him: I will put you on our do-not-call list, but first I am going to ask you a couple of questions. So your ener…
Me: You NEED to put me on your list!!
Him: I don’t NEED to do anything!
Me: FUCK YOU BASTARD!

And I hung up.

Dick.

I tried to go on the FTC website to update my information for the National Do-Not-Call Registry but of course the whole fucking government is shut down currently, so yeah, no, I couldn’t do that.

Fuck me.

Have you encountered a douche-bag telemarketer? Any good ideas to get rid of them?

576 comments for “Telemarketers Suck Donkey Balls

  1. October 10, 2013 at 8:07 pm

    Haha, I have no idea how to get them to quit calling. Even after asking to be put on the list, somehow they still call. So I just hand the phone over to Jake, he’s 16 now and very creative.

    • fbombs
      October 10, 2013 at 8:28 pm

      Definitely let the teens take over – they come up with some good stuff!

  2. Kim L
    October 11, 2013 at 12:57 am

    I have the same problem. Try this believe me it will work. Keep a whistle by the phone and when you answer it blow the dang thing as hard as you can. LOL

    • fbombs
      October 11, 2013 at 1:08 am

      You know what? That is a great idea. I think I will do that!

  3. October 11, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    I’ve had friends who start talking about gross health or sex problems with the telemarketer who gets so embarrassed that he’s the one who hangs up. I’ve never been brave enough to try it.

    • fbombs
      October 11, 2013 at 2:22 pm

      That would be really fun. I don’t know if I have the cojones to do it either.

  4. Jeffro
    October 20, 2013 at 12:55 am

    Looks like this company has been terrorizing more than just you. When i plugged the number into Google, here is one of the sites where people complain about this sort of stuff.
    http://whocallsme.com/Phone-Number.aspx/7072007673

    • fbombs
      October 29, 2013 at 4:03 pm

      Yep I saw that too – jerks!

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    {I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never
    found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It is}
    pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website
    owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content as you did,
    the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.|
    I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.
    {Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
    {I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed}
    as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink}
    or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service. Do {you have|you’ve}
    any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that}
    I {may just|may|could} subscribe. Thanks.|
    {It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make some plans for the future and {it
    is|it’s} time to be happy. {I have|I’ve} read this post and if I could I {want to|wish
    to|desire to} suggest you {few|some} interesting things or {advice|suggestions|tips}.
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    I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things
    about it!|
    {It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make {a few|some} plans for {the future|the longer term|the long run} and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.
    {I have|I’ve} {read|learn} this {post|submit|publish|put up} and if I {may just|may|could} I {want to|wish to|desire to}
    {suggest|recommend|counsel} you {few|some} {interesting|fascinating|attention-grabbing} {things|issues} or {advice|suggestions|tips}.
    {Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write {next|subsequent}
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    I {want to|wish to|desire to} {read|learn} {more|even more} {things|issues}
    {approximately|about} it!|
    {I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} {online|on-line} {more
    than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays|today|lately|as of late}, {yet|but} I {never|by
    no means} {found|discovered} any {interesting|fascinating|attention-grabbing}
    article like yours. {It’s|It is} {lovely|pretty|beautiful} {worth|value|price} {enough|sufficient} for me.

    {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site
    owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made {just right|good|excellent}
    {content|content material} as {you did|you probably did}, the {internet|net|web}
    {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} {much
    more|a lot more} {useful|helpful} than ever before.|
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    topic of} this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {here|at this place}
    at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, I
    have read all that, so {now|at this time} me also commenting {here|at this place}.|
    I am sure this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} has touched
    all the internet {users|people|viewers|visitors}, its really really {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}
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    Wow, this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, my {sister|younger sister} is analyzing {such|these|these kinds
    of} things, {so|thus|therefore} I am going to {tell|inform|let know|convey} her.|
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    Way cool! Some {very|extremely} valid points! I appreciate
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    am going to|I’m going to|I may} {come back|return|revisit} {once again|yet again} {since I|since i have} {bookmarked|book marked|book-marked|saved as a favorite} it.
    Money and freedom {is the best|is the greatest} way to change, may you be rich
    and continue to {help|guide} {other people|others}.|
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    a look|check it out}. I’m definitely {enjoying|loving} the information. I’m
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    {I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up too.
    {This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of}
    clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}! Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I’ve {incorporated|added|included} you guys to
    {|my|our|my personal|my own} blogroll.|
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    {working with|using}? I’m {looking|planning|going} to start my own blog {in the near future|soon} but I’m having a {tough|difficult|hard} time {making a decision|selecting|choosing|deciding} between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.

    The reason I ask is because your {design and style|design|layout}
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    provider at a {honest|reasonable|fair} price? {Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank
    you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!|
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    {come together|get together} and share {opinions|thoughts|views|ideas}.
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    up. The {text|words} in your {content|post|article} seem to be running off the screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.
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    but I {thought|figured} I’d post to let you know.
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    to {check out|browse} your {site|website|blog} on my iphone during lunch break.
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    when I get home. I’m {shocked|amazed|surprised} at how {quick|fast} your
    blog loaded on my {mobile|cell phone|phone} .. I’m not even using WIFI,
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    You {seem|appear} {to understand|to know|to grasp} {so much|a lot} {approximately|about} this, {like you|such as
    you} wrote the {book|e-book|guide|ebook|e book} in it or
    something. {I think|I feel|I believe} {that you|that you simply|that
    you just} {could|can} do with {some|a few} {%|p.c.|percent}
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    is|that is} {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} blog.
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    appreciated.|
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    {It is the|It’s the} little changes {that make|which will make|that produce|that will
    make} {the biggest|the largest|the greatest|the most important|the most significant} changes.
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    to|hoping to|attempting to} create {my own|my very own|my own personal}
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    out} where you got this from or {what the|exactly what the|just
    what the} theme {is called|is named}. {Thanks|Many thanks|Thank you|Cheers|Appreciate it|Kudos}!|
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    written {any better|much better}! {Reading through|Looking at|Going through|Looking through} this {post|article} reminds
    me of my previous roommate! He {always|constantly|continually} kept {talking about|preaching about} this.

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    him. {Pretty sure|Fairly certain} {he will|he’ll|he’s going to}
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    layout} and design. {Excellent|Wonderful|Great|Outstanding|Superb} choice of colors!|
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    {a lot to|a great deal to} {know about|learn about|find out
    about} this {subject|topic|issue}. {I like|I love|I really like}
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    information|to find out more|to learn more|for additional information} about the issue and found {most individuals|most people} will go along
    with your views on {this website|this site|this web
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    stuff|blogs|blog} {regularly|like every week|daily|on a regular basis}.
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    the good work|it up}!|
    I {simply|just} {could not|couldn’t} {leave|depart|go away} your {site|web site|website} {prior to|before} suggesting that I {really|extremely|actually}
    {enjoyed|loved} {the standard|the usual} {information|info} {a person|an individual} {supply|provide} {for your|on your|in your|to your} {visitors|guests}?
    Is {going to|gonna} be {back|again} {frequently|regularly|incessantly|steadily|ceaselessly|often|continuously} {in order
    to|to} {check up on|check out|inspect|investigate cross-check} new posts|
    {I wanted|I needed|I want to|I need to} to thank you for
    this {great|excellent|fantastic|wonderful|good|very good} read!!
    I {definitely|certainly|absolutely} {enjoyed|loved} every {little bit of|bit of} it.
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    {Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, just wanted to {mention|say|tell you}, I {enjoyed|liked|loved}
    this {article|post|blog post}. It was {inspiring|funny|practical|helpful}.
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    along with a {cup|mug} of coffee.|
    I {always|for all time|all the time|constantly|every time} emailed this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}
    post page to all my {friends|associates|contacts}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} if like to read it {then|after that|next|afterward} my {friends|links|contacts} will too.|
    My {coder|programmer|developer} is trying to {persuade|convince} me to move
    to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the
    {expenses|costs}. But he’s tryiong none the less.

    I’ve been using {Movable-type|WordPress} on {a
    number of|a variety of|numerous|several|various} websites for about a year and am {nervous|anxious|worried|concerned} about
    switching to another platform. I have heard
    {fantastic|very good|excellent|great|good} things about blogengine.net.
    Is there a way I can {transfer|import} all my wordpress
    {content|posts} into it? {Any kind of|Any} help would be {really|greatly} appreciated!|
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    {this blog|this web site|this website|this site|your blog} before
    but after {browsing through|going through|looking at} {some of the|a
    few of the|many of the} {posts|articles} I realized it’s new to me.
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    than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays|today|lately|as of late}, {yet|but} I {never|by no means} {found|discovered}
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    of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!
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