Month: May 2020

Do you wash your hands?

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My hands are raw. People are dirty. This virus is annoying as hell. Can it just go away already? I’ve been staying home like I’m supposed to, I’ve been sneezing into my elbow {frickin’ gross, and even grosser {is that a word?} is watching someone else do it}. I have used hand sanitizer by the buckets. That shit is like gold right now – it is so hard to find in the stores and it is ridiculously overpriced online. I have started making my own hand sanitizer. But most importantly I have been washing my hands. A lot. So much in fact that even my knuckles feel like the toughest grit sandpaper. Here’s the thing. I am SO over this bullshit and so I’m going to need you need to cooperate too. I have a question for you…do you wash your hands as often as you should?

Please wash your hands!

Wash your hands

For the love of God…I beg of you…wash your damned hands. Use hand sanitizer. Most of all use common sense! I have learned that most people simply don’t have it. Case in point {and this is just one}. A trip to the grocery store a couple of weeks ago.

The six foot rule

The blue tape was on the floor, every six feet, leading up to the checkout stand. There was a couple at the register, a dude in front of me, and I was behind him on the third strip of blue tape. The dude in front of me was so restless, and ironically enough is the one who was lacking common sense. It was like he had ants in his pants. He and his cart were all the way in front of the line and before the people at the register were even done checking out he managed to shimmy his way up to the conveyor belt and was unloading his crap. I’m sure the expression on my face said it all {it said, “Dude, just wait a damn minute!”}. I can’t take the stupidity any more. Wash your hands bitches, so we can get this ridiculousness over with! If you feel a little foolish singing the Happy Birthday song over and over again, use this neat little tool that will help you create your own 20 second silly version of your favorite song. You can use it to wash your hands (and have fun while doing it!).

You’re not the boss of me

Listen, I have played by the rules for a long time now. I have stayed home for days on end. Did you hear that? I have spent one longggg monotonous day after another at home. Why? Because I was told to stay home. I don’t like to be told what to do, so you must understand that this is a really big deal to me. I even have a supply of masks that nice people have made for my family. I am wearing masks! I’m not fond of either of the above, but I’m doing them both for mankind, and because I want to help flatten the proverbial curve {there’s a term I hope I never have to hear again in my lifetime}.  I am, however, starting to  lose my proverbial sh*t. So…please wash your hands bitches.

wash your hands with soap

Wash, rinse, repeat

Sure at first it seemed like staying at home would be okay. I was all fired up to get some things done around the house. I was really productive the first couple of weeks {mostly out of sheer boredom}. I organized the hell out of a couple of hall closets. I NEVER would have given them so much time or attention normally. I have to admit though, my closets are pretty badass. I bought these amazing little hooks online and everything now has a place on a hook. Exciting stuff, huh?

I’ve done some gardening, lots of cleaning, lots of muttering profanities. Every day, I do more gardening, cleaning, and oh yeah, cooking. Wash, rinse and repeat. I.AM.BORED.OUT.OF.MY.MIND.  Can we please reopen the universe now?

Please wash your hands.